just one thing on my mind ..rhymes with raduate  

santorini pretty pretty 

Foremost on my mind

I’m a man for the moment, to clarify …I often take a step back from ‘doing’ to fully take in all the details of a specific moment so that I may fossilize the moment into memory

..the following are key moments that are foremost in my memory

me ,angelsoul and american annie sitting in the courtyard of a white church on the isle of Santorini Greece enjoying the quiet

me climbing the lion in Trafalgar square even as my friends watched and muttered under their breathe

me and various frens indulging in mass aloe vera lathering after a day of volley ball in tioman, we have since called this Aloe Vera Gangbang

me and A snorkeling hand in hand

me and D having brunch at St Kilda , waffles ..minutes after touching down in Melbourne

me and P ..first kiss

first time me and my mom shared a cry

standing with my mum on the shore as we watched the sunset in Bintan

singing on stage at munchies , looking at the audience and seeing only friends


Here’s me, thankful for my memories.

flip baby flip 

Carlos, a Backflip and Social Acceptance

I woke up in sweats….perspiration. Not the baggy cotton tracksuits that Mafia guys love or hiphop artists circa 1990s..hmm reminds me , I should pick up my black-gold adidas tracksuit from Uncle Ching’s Dry Laundry. Okay..okay ..the last line is totally bullshit but I’m in a fictional mood…let me tell you why…

So I woke up at 557 a.m, my t-shirt wet like ..like ..I’m tempted oooh soo tempted…but No. It was just wet. I just had a dream that me and the boys were doing Yamakasi type stuff in a carpark. Let me describe one scene.

I’m running towards car where I see Miss Carlos sitting on the hood, icing her wrist. Carlos sitting beside her shouts ,“Oi! ….Oi! This is only for the big booooys!.” Just as he says this I sweetly plant my foot on the edge of the afore mentioned car’s bumper before pushing off and completing, what I could only describe as, a tweaked blackflip with a foot grab, possibly a Mctwist *thank you ESPN X-games *…Then as I land my frens explode in compliments…
“oh my god”, “that was the best trick brudder”…”you the man”

But all Carlos had to say was
“okay…lah…okay only”….
Then I woke up.

So in retrospect, this is what I’ve learnt bout myself based on this dream. I innately yearn to do a backflip in a dark carpark with my frens looking on and more importantly, Carlos is secretly my social benchmark…only he can declare me a Big Boy.

So ladies and gents, please forgive me if in the next few days all I do is continually practice run ups for my ideal black flip. Please forgive me also for all the compliments, gifts, massages and eye lash fluttering I’ll be giving Carlos, in my bid to gain Big Boy-ness.

super duper  

Mmmmmmm…english rose …..mmmm
…inate sensuality in each growl and smile and move
..and when she passes each one she passes …goes mmmmmm
…barefoot performer…old soul…..tall glass of smooth smooth syrup …
step into my groove …..love when she dance to the music…let's ride …I'm your clyde you can be my bonnie….soooooo right for me

All the above translates into “Joss Stone *gush* *gush*”

Thurs 1250hrs 

Bye bye bearded boy

Facial hair is incredible… to be more accurate, the choice to sport facial hair and the various interpretations others might have for my non-shaving habits is fascinating. For those that may have spotted me in the last few weeks, you may have noticed the tufts of follicles on my chinny-chin chin and jaw … these are just some of the comments I’ve received

Ahhh…..going for the Ustatz look I see
Dude , I know you’re working on your thesis but lets not do the tortured academic look
Dei ! Put some whisky on your face ..it’ll grow faster
Took you 2 months ? Riiiite…congrats (Indian guy)
You look old. I don’t like. SHAVE (my mum)
I never quite imagined u with stubbles (maniacal laughter ensues)

Sooo battered is my beard-ego that I’ve started to find support where there is’nt any

Anon: Quite natural
Me: You mean my beard ?! yeah ! ..it was kinda sparse at first but I think its ever so slowly filling in now ( slowly caresses jaw)
Anon: No man, I meant how you talk on stage
Me: Oh err right .. ( throws ninja smoke pellet on the ground and disappears)

So for all you non-members of the ‘Leave NJ’s Beard Alone Club’, I would like to inform that I’ll be shaving myself on Thurs 7th April @ 1300 hrs because I have to attend a formal conference the next day. The grieving ceremony shall begin at 1900hrs where friends and family shall sit around exchanging stories about the dearly departed; men and women with beards are disallowed from participating

Lookee ...lookee 

Like sands thru an hour glass, these are the days of our lives

Beauty …timeless … not really …. The tone of flesh, the cascading follical locks, the exuberant optimistic voice that draws others in from the periphery of non-attraction all fade , change and alter ..if you’re lucky ..you age like wine ..character substitutes for raw sensuality or you may age like a Ferrari….classic sensuality - not bothered by new models of exquisiteness but like I said ..if you’re lucky

Ali Mcgraw was truly captivating in The Geteway (1972) with Steve McQueen, a beauty best enjoyed in flows of mobility rather than frozen in pictures (watch the movie don’t google her)…maybe if I had a chance to see her recent movies or by freaky chance saw her moving about in real life, I might see a flash of that old school exotic sensuality …maybe not …

Beauty and youth passes .. from GQ
“Clint Eastwood was the kind of guy who could’ve kicked your ass and taken your girl except he would’nt have needed to, she would have dropped you for him in a second”
Key word is ‘WAS’.

Interestingly , on the cover of the same GQ issue is Jessice Alba ..a captivating caramel brown sensual creature for the present ..wonder how she’ll turn out when we’re all 50
Lesson to learn (maybe): take photos now, immortalized yourself in your youth … don’t hate yourself when you’re older but celebrate your passed youth and remember yourself in your time of youthful brilliance

P.S ….Miss Alba and Buenos Aires in the same GQ issue…coincidence? I think not…..okay Jessie baby …. you , me , Angelsoul , Carlos and Better half…June …its a date

Clint Eastwood circa 1958