solo sentry syndrome

based on my two months stint in the boys in blues brigade *hint 999* , i have proven without a doubt that we humans are truly social creatures. On every other day , I was made to guard key installations by my lonesome for 10-12 hours at a stretch ...i entertained myself by giving mini-concerts to an imaginary audience ...complete with witty conversation between songs, personal anecdotes and major flirting with the audience *think marvin gaye at the montreal jazz festival circa 1970s*...and i must say there were days when I brought the house down ... the masses extolling encores at the end of my set ...i often returned to deliver an unexpected italian aria just for the shock factor ..they lapped it up ...slaves to my imagination, they would have loved it even if i had sung Lemon Tree...

Now, I never thought much bout how i spend my alone sentry time until a few weeks back when i was patroling and was visiting one of the schools on my beat . This security guard came to talk to me ..he initiated conversation with " so how long you been in the police force?" and within the space of ten lines he progressed the conversation through such colourful topics as CPF , his ungrateful son , his lack of a sex life and his dentist *mind you within ten sentences , i swear * When i finally told him, 10 sentences later that i needed to continue patroling he said a sad g'bye and i swear i saw tears welling up in his eyes ... *okay okay the tears are exaggerating*

upon reflection , i questioned the coversational eagerness , the hurriedness of his topic switching , the longing in his eyes ....then i realized its Solo Sentry Syndrome ..we humans are not meant to be alone for too long , the yearning for social company subverts our normal traits so we might adapt to survive solitary life

think about it ....my singing to an imaginary audinece ...the aggresively chatty security guard ...tom hanks and mr wilson on castaway !! hmm now if i could only trademark SSS ( solo sentry syndrome) ...okays i'm off , i yearn conversation even as we speak

Archilles forearms and breastplate chest

I am totally in lust with the scene in MR and Mrs SMith where they first meet ...Cuba circa 1990s , she walks into the bar in a white dress that clings to her goddess torso. He's standing by the bar ...black raybans (rectangular not aviators) ...black slacks held up seemingly carelessly by a non descript black belt and a white shirt thats tailored to Saville Row perfection , plain yet distinctive ....they share a look ..a look of pure lust ...raw attraction.... instant sexual chemistry ...*mmmmmmmm can i have some of that of that please ?*

After micro analyzing the scene on my dvd player multiple times, i've realized the lynchpin holding the whole scene together is his white shirt ...or rather how he looks in it ..
with the first three buttons undon, breastplate chest peeking out in the front .... mucho masculine forearms extending out of the sleeves

Damn genetics... oh when will be the day someone stops me on the street to ask ' excuse me ..are you wearing chest armor or are you just bloody well built?' or ' I couldnt help but notice that you have the arms of a galley slave who rows to the beat of his Greecian master's drum'....hmmmm sudden thought ..should i just gym it? Nahhhh......pining is way more fun than pure hard work ...

Ladies of the night

I recently showed an out of towner the seeedy backlanes of Geylang where instead of public lamp posts, the lorongs are plotted out in uncanny regularity by ladies of the night plying what some have termed the oldest trade in history..she was flabergasted and broke out into a moral tirade which sounded like this..." but but its.....what bout aids ...wheres the morals...singapore goverment...i never knew". So I am now officially responsible for sullying the pristine white reputation of Singapore in the eyes of one particular visitor to our shore , i compare the experience with the time Justin T pooh poohed the myth of Britney's chastity *hit me baby one more time?*. At this juncture, I would like to apologize to her, whose very sensible sensibilities has been bruised by the realization that Singapore does have a dark underbelly which *horror of horrors* is very legal .

P.S during the integrated resort debacle, my only opinion was this - we're spending so much time debating the casino issue, why was there less fanfare when we legalized prostitution or passsed the bill to allow stem cell research on human cloning