sometimes when we touch the honesty' too much ...hahahahahahahahahaha 

Batam ....nice actually

So i spent the weekend in Batam to celebrate me mum's bdae ..she has frens there who run a hair saloon so she's practically a weekend batam-ian ....

Highlights of the trip was finding out that the saloon is staffed by two really 'special' characters, one is a champion tranvestite whose work station has his studio photo shots and various trophies ( i only realized recently the irony of giving phallic looking trophies to champion tranvestite ) and the other fella is a gay guy ... he took a shine to me early and what ensued was various attempts to touch me ( in appropriate places) . The transvestite showed no interest in me , which intrigued me ... i was tempted to strip down to my boxers and start doing push ups to see if he/she would bat an eye lid ... three things stopped short that idea. Firstly, he/she seemed to classy to fall for a lame spectacle like that , mind you ..we are dealing with a champion trannie here. Secondly, I was afraid to be in any position where the afore mentioned gay guy could brush pass the family jewels . Thirdly, I remembered that 25 year old virile hetero males do not try to attract trannies ..champion or no..

The 2nd highlight of the trip was visiting a disco with the trannie who was my date for the evening ... he/she introduced me to various locals, both of the light and dark side ... I spent most of the evening trying to stop this small woman from grinding my left leg ( i dont think she was attracted to me , just really really into dancing or my left leg..go figure ) .. Indon women are a tad hyper and curvy, they take a lot of care of their appearence...the younger girls round my age are potentially really attractive but the whole extreme hip shaking /swivelling thing just does'nt bake my bacon , sizzle my grizzle , flip my flipflaps ..you know what i mean....although they are packing some major junk in the trunk, boost in the caboose etc ....dangdut by the way has the same dance steps as latin music...i was chanelling the spirit of ricky martin all nite...livin la vida loca indeed..the batam remix

nothing else matters really 

thot i saw THE azuan tan ..wanted him to sign my scroll..he left ..alas 

my tribute to Mr Japs  

i love him like a brother ..but why didnt he just fall off....kiddin kiddin  

i was having a nice day then i saw this...anybody has a strong rope, ceiling fan and rickety chair  

so me and this gay guy was chewing the fat

so me and this gay guy was chewing the fat (tempted to say meat) in a club ...but I didnt know the fella was gay until i asked him what other places he hangs out in ...cue a verbal vomit of places I've never heard and then he adds at the end that I would'nt any of this places coz they're not for 'my kind'...my kind being hetero-sexy... heres some of the more interesting nuggets i got from our rather queer conversation

Gay man are not necessarily sexually extroverted ( a.k.a easy to get a screw from) , most are very particular about being picked up or chatted up

They are not pushing for a Gay and Lesbian Association in Spore because they believe that the Gay and Lesbian Association should only emerge in a context of a more liberal Singapore society , prematurely forming the association may result in hate crimes and violence

Beckham is mucho mucho HOT .

Interesting insights the gay man gave me,
How was he able to spot that I was a hetero-sexy..
Am i no longer well dressed ?
god damn it I'm obsessed

Today I met a gay man,
I thought he'd make a good fren
He said forget it straightie
youre not even wearing a tight T

As I sit with wet boxers

As I sit with wet boxers, I ponder a comment someone passed recently, ‘Whats with your whole new ‘anything goes’ attitude’

Upon some self reflection (which involves a complicated series of mirrors angled at the exact square root of 1 bjillion, that eventually allows me to see into my own mind) , I’ve psychoanalyzed myself and realized I’ve reverted to my NS self circa 1999-2001.

Upon further reflection and a hurried visit to Ikea for more mirrors, the reason why I’m actually going clubbing more, socializing like I’m dying to hit 1 bjillion on Friendster is coz of the sense of emancipation everytime I finish work or the ever wonderful weekend begins . Lets clarify ladylike ladies and gentle gents, its not the rigour of the 9-5, it’s the idea that I have these NS liabilities that hold me hostage in a office. I call it periodic bouts of ‘I need to do something fun or I’ll curl up and die – bipolar nervosa policia’

Part of the ‘why scared?’, ‘gung ho’ …I wanna OD on funfunfun attitude led to this wet boxers scenario. Taking a dip in a private pool at 3 am, all alone which has led me to forming the following list. Enjoy the list, need to get out of these boxers -shrinkage has set in , not a nice sensation

10 things to in a pool at 3 am , all alone ( note : without female company)

10) Practise Neil Armstrong’s zero gravity bunny jumps

9) Pretend I know kungfu and practice my elegantly flowing art under water

8) Renact the Muhd Ali poster and try to run under water

7) Float on my back with ears in the water to recreate that ‘in the womb’ feeling

6) Pretend I’m less than a metre tall and cling to the sides , slowly going around the
swimming pool by sliding my hands along the edges

5) Watching ripples on the pool surface and repeatedly going ‘oooooooh aaaaaaaaah’

4) Attempt the butterfly stroke for a lap and halfway changing to dog paddling

3) Imagine scenarios and things to say if the security guard catches me: my fave ‘I’m a
mermaid and I have to keep wet when away from my undersea kingdom’

2) Replay in my mind, how I could charade ‘everybody has aids’ better (I’m not sore ,
what gives you that idea?)

1) Imagine what it would be like to have female company so I would not have to do the
other stupid 9 things